A man who was previously a sailor, was very aware that ships are addressed as "she" and "her". He often wondered what gender computers should be addressed. To answer that question, he set up two groups of computer experts. The first was comprised of women, and the second of men. Each group was asked to recommend whether computers should be referred to in the feminine gender, or the masculine gender. They were asked to give 4 reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women reported that the computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1) In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2) They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
3) They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
4) As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand concluded that Computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1) No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2) The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3) Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4) As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Sardarjee's Suicide
Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Mumbai. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardar ji.
Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together one fine day - The Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box. He says "I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tomorrow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die.
Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says "If I find fish in my lunch box tomorrow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die.
Next the Sardar ji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says "Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tomorrow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor.
Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
Sardar ji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues.
The Mallu's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch" .
The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch”.
The Sardar ji's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch....!!!
Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together one fine day - The Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box. He says "I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tomorrow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die.
Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says "If I find fish in my lunch box tomorrow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die.
Next the Sardar ji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says "Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tomorrow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor.
Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
Sardar ji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues.
The Mallu's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch" .
The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch”.
The Sardar ji's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch....!!!
Monday, September 22, 2008
AAM Hai KYA???
Part 1
A parrot goes to a shopkeeper and asks ... 'Aam hai kya?'The shopkeeper says ... 'Nahi. Hum Aam nahi bechte.'Next day at the same time, the parrot goes again and asks him ...'Aam hai kya ?'He gets a little irritated and says... 'Aare Bola na, Hum 'Aam nahi Bechte'On the third day, the parrot goes again and asks him 'Aam hai kya ?'He gets wild and yells ...'Bola na naahi. Abhi vapas aaya to tumhare sar ke upar hathoda marunga 'The next day,the parrot comes again and asks him ..'hathoda hai kya?'The shopkeeper says ... 'Nahi'The parrot then asks ... 'Aam hai kya ?'
Part-2
The next day parrot again goes to shopkeeper and asks "Aam hai kya??"The shopkeeper is ready now....He quickly pulls a hammer and hitz the parrot on the face.The parrot looses all his teethBut determined, parrot again goes 2 the shopkeeper next day n asks
"AAM KA JUICE HAI KYA???"-
Common Hindi Film Dialogues
* A main character in the movie will go to the temple and say : "Bhagwan mainey tumse aaj tak kuch nahin maanga....."
* Old hindi movie : "Aiye ji sunte ho.. Aap bade woh hein."
* Lover-girl to leaving lover-boy : "Mai tumhare bina nahin jee sakti "
* Police to bad guy : "Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hein" &
* "Rukjao! kanoon ko apne haath mein mat lo"
* Judge announcing his decision in filmi court : "Gawaaoon key bayaanat aur saboot ko madde nazar rakhtey Taz-e-raat-e-hind, dafaa 302 ke tahet , muzrim ko sazaaye maut di jaati hai"
* " Muzrim ko ba-izzat bari kiya jaata hai"
* " Main is Geeta per haath rakhkar yeh saugandh leta hoon ki jo bhi kahoonga sach kahoonga, aur sach ke siva kuch nahin kahoonga."
* "Inspector! Giraftaar karlo issey"
* " Raam Raam kaaka"
* " Jug Jug jiyo beta "
* The classic: "main tumhaare bachche ki maan banne waali hoon."
* " Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhaane ke layak nahin rahe"
* " Kya issi din ke liye tujhe paal pos ke bada kiya tha?"
* Typical farmer ka dialogue : " mainey is zameen ko apne khoon sey seencha hai "
* Hero/heroine after opening their eyes in the hospital : " Main kahan hoon?"
* Old hindi movie : "Aiye ji sunte ho.. Aap bade woh hein."
* Lover-girl to leaving lover-boy : "Mai tumhare bina nahin jee sakti "
* Police to bad guy : "Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hein" &
* "Rukjao! kanoon ko apne haath mein mat lo"
* Judge announcing his decision in filmi court : "Gawaaoon key bayaanat aur saboot ko madde nazar rakhtey Taz-e-raat-e-hind, dafaa 302 ke tahet , muzrim ko sazaaye maut di jaati hai"
* " Muzrim ko ba-izzat bari kiya jaata hai"
* " Main is Geeta per haath rakhkar yeh saugandh leta hoon ki jo bhi kahoonga sach kahoonga, aur sach ke siva kuch nahin kahoonga."
* "Inspector! Giraftaar karlo issey"
* " Raam Raam kaaka"
* " Jug Jug jiyo beta "
* The classic: "main tumhaare bachche ki maan banne waali hoon."
* " Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhaane ke layak nahin rahe"
* " Kya issi din ke liye tujhe paal pos ke bada kiya tha?"
* Typical farmer ka dialogue : " mainey is zameen ko apne khoon sey seencha hai "
* Hero/heroine after opening their eyes in the hospital : " Main kahan hoon?"
What if the IT industry start making films ?
Some future film titles will be like :-
1) Meri disk tumhare paas hai—Humara dil apke paas hai
2) Aao chat kare—Aao Pyar Kare
3) Programmer no.1—Coolie no.1
4) Mera naam developer—Mera naam joker
5) Java wale job le jayenge—Dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge
6) Hum aapke memory mein rahate hain—Hum aapke dil mein rahte hein
7) Do processor baarah terminal—Do aankhen Baraah Haat
8 ) Tera code chal gaya—Tera jadoo chal gaya
9) Har Din jo mail Karega—Har dil jho pyar karega
10) Network Ke Us Paar
11) Debugging koi Khel nahi—Pyar koi khel nahi
12) Jis Desh mein Bill(gates) rahata Hai—Jis desh mein ganga bahthi hai
13) Raju ban gaya MCSE—Raju ban gaya Gentleman
14) Client ek numbari, PROGRAMMER Dus Nambari
15) Login karo sajana—Pyar karo sajna
16) Naukar PC ka
17) DOWN to hona hi tha—Pyar tho hona hi tha
18) Partition (Deewar)
19) 1942 - A Bug Story—1942 - A love story
20) Kaho Na Virus Hai—Kaho naa pyar hai
21) dot-Company (Company)
22) Program Instruction Aur Method —Pyar Ishq aur mohabbat
23) Crash Se Crash Tak (QSQT)
24) Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai—Haan mene bhi pyar kiya hai
25) BugVadh
26) Logon (Lagaan)
27) Shaheed Hacker Singh—Shaheed bhagat singh
28) Hacker 420
29) Password De Ke Dekho—Dil deke dekho
30) Terminal Apna Login Paraya
31) Mr Network Lal—Mr.Natwarlal
32) Meine Debug Kiya—Meine pyar kiya
33)Terminal Sajake Rakhna—Doli sajake rakhna
34) Debuggers ki Rani Hackers ka Raja
35) Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Karta—Kyonki mein joot nahi bholta
36) Phir Teri Perl-Script Yaad Aayi
37) Server se — Dil se
38) Mission Virus—Mission kashmir
1) Meri disk tumhare paas hai—Humara dil apke paas hai
2) Aao chat kare—Aao Pyar Kare
3) Programmer no.1—Coolie no.1
4) Mera naam developer—Mera naam joker
5) Java wale job le jayenge—Dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge
6) Hum aapke memory mein rahate hain—Hum aapke dil mein rahte hein
7) Do processor baarah terminal—Do aankhen Baraah Haat
8 ) Tera code chal gaya—Tera jadoo chal gaya
9) Har Din jo mail Karega—Har dil jho pyar karega
10) Network Ke Us Paar
11) Debugging koi Khel nahi—Pyar koi khel nahi
12) Jis Desh mein Bill(gates) rahata Hai—Jis desh mein ganga bahthi hai
13) Raju ban gaya MCSE—Raju ban gaya Gentleman
14) Client ek numbari, PROGRAMMER Dus Nambari
15) Login karo sajana—Pyar karo sajna
16) Naukar PC ka
17) DOWN to hona hi tha—Pyar tho hona hi tha
18) Partition (Deewar)
19) 1942 - A Bug Story—1942 - A love story
20) Kaho Na Virus Hai—Kaho naa pyar hai
21) dot-Company (Company)
22) Program Instruction Aur Method —Pyar Ishq aur mohabbat
23) Crash Se Crash Tak (QSQT)
24) Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai—Haan mene bhi pyar kiya hai
25) BugVadh
26) Logon (Lagaan)
27) Shaheed Hacker Singh—Shaheed bhagat singh
28) Hacker 420
29) Password De Ke Dekho—Dil deke dekho
30) Terminal Apna Login Paraya
31) Mr Network Lal—Mr.Natwarlal
32) Meine Debug Kiya—Meine pyar kiya
33)Terminal Sajake Rakhna—Doli sajake rakhna
34) Debuggers ki Rani Hackers ka Raja
35) Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Karta—Kyonki mein joot nahi bholta
36) Phir Teri Perl-Script Yaad Aayi
37) Server se — Dil se
38) Mission Virus—Mission kashmir
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes
1) That's not right .......Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you hoboring a fugitive? .......Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP ......Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man .......Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse .......Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? .......Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a table .......Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift .......Chi Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here .......Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet .......Wai Yu Mun Ching?
11) This is a tow away zone .......No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week .......Wai Yu Kum Nao?
13) Staying out of site .......Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile .......Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive .......Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great .......Fa Kin Su Pah
2) Are you hoboring a fugitive? .......Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP ......Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man .......Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse .......Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? .......Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a table .......Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift .......Chi Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here .......Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet .......Wai Yu Mun Ching?
11) This is a tow away zone .......No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week .......Wai Yu Kum Nao?
13) Staying out of site .......Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile .......Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive .......Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great .......Fa Kin Su Pah
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
